By the end of the week I am hoping you will be able to answer with a massive YES to these three success factor questions:
-
Did you have a gentle beginning that helped you begin the SBCA Programme with clarity and intention?
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Did you accept the invitation to be in self-enquiry about beginning the SBCA Programme?
-
Did you get to know your fellow classmates by sharing your Orientation Week reflections in the discussion forum and meeting on the Welcome Call?
How Orientation Week Works:
Over the next week, I'll send you a short video introducing six ideas with an invitation for you to consider your relationship with each one.
There will be an activity for you to bring this to life - this might be a reflection to consider or an action to take.
TOP TIP - this is about your experience in the 'here and now' - so please do set aside 10-15 minutes each morning to consider these concepts. Let them sit with you over the day. Notice how you evolve over the week.
Sharing your reflections:
Please do share your learnings, ponderings, thoughts in the Discussion. Look out for the Discussion button on the top right of each lesson.
References:
- More on Triple Loop Learning
- Dr Chris Argyris
Day One - i am committed
- What is your relationship with commitment?
- How do you tend to commit to something (impulsively? cautiously?)
- How do you tend to quit on your commitments?
- When you have seen a commitment through, what did you learn about yourself? How did it feel?
- Imagine receiving your certified Self-belief Coach diploma - what will it mean to you if you commit to SBCA?
- What are the practical things you need to do to create the conditions that will support your commitment?
Day Two - i belong
- What thoughts, stories, beliefs, narratives are you entertaining about belonging to this group?
- Who do you need to be to belong here?
- What do you believe about everyone else in the group?
- What would it mean to allow yourself to be known?
Day Three - I am compassionate
- How easy do you find it to offer compassion to others?
- How easy do you find it to offer compassion to yourself?
Action:
- Take 5-10 minutes and make a list of all the statements or beliefs your self-doubt / inner critic tells you - as a human, a coach, a business, owner. Go back further in time and list what you remember your self-doubt saying.
- Where possible, add an age to each statement - how old is this belief? What age does this statement belong to?
- Read over what you have written and see if you can bring self-compassion to this experience.
- What can you offer yourself as a compassionate alternative for each statement?
Day Four - i am contributing
- What beliefs do you hold about learning in 'public?'
- Contribution is about showing up as you are right now - without knowing any more than you do, without having any more experience than you do - what does the energy of contribution offer you?
- If you let go of the idea that you have to know more, do more, be more than you are right now, what does that free up for you?
- How might this impact the way you show up to this group?
Day Five - i am experimenting
- How would you describe your relationship with experimentation?
- What does it feel like to not know what the outcomes might be?
- How do you tend to keep yourself safe when you are uncertain?
- When was the last time you experienced uncertainty? How did you respond?
Day Six - i am expanding
- How would you describe your relationship with your own growth and expansion?
- What stories have you grown up with about what it means to be fully yourself?
- What do you fear you might lose, if you step fully into the greatest expression of yourself?
- What is your relationship with Success? Abundance? Achievement?
You are highly encouraged to share your thoughts.
The Orientation Week process is designed as a way for us to get to know each other. As you reflect on the daily prompts, please do share what comes up for you. It's entirely likely that some prompts will feel more vulnerable and this is a way for you to practice being brave.
(If you need technical or admin support, please email us.)
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Welcome to Orientation Week
I loved this question because it helped me see what I would have said even a year ago in response to the topic of commitment vs now.
A year ago, I would have said that I often suck at following through. I’m either an all-or-nothing kind of person. Once I’m “IN” something, I’m all the way in and get “obsessed” about it. When I didn’t follow through on things I thought it was a lack of willpower and the words all of those high-ticket coaches I hired years ago would come flooding back in telling me that I need to work on my mindset and work harder if I wanted my business to really grow.
Now I see commitment through three lenses: my nervous system, parts work, and my brilliantly beautiful ADHD brain.
Now, I understand my nervous system and what it feels like and what it needs to feel safe with commitments. I now more easily let go of things that are what I call false priorities – the things that I’m “supposed to be committed to” but genuinely I don’t care about. Once I recognize what I deeply and truly care about, it’s much easier to be committed. Understanding the way trauma impacts commitment has been a healing path for me over the past couple of years.
When I’m struggling with commitment, I now understand that there is likely a part of me that doesn’t feel safe vs “I’m a failure and why can’t I do this????”
Lastly, being recently diagnosed as a neurodivergent person, the “lack of commitment” throughout my life makes so much more sense. My brain needs variety and options. My nervous system needs spaciousness and choice. Both of those things I rarely had in my life and these things rarely exist in a neurotypical, non-trauma-informed, capitalistic world.
Now that I understand this and how to work with both my brain and my nervous system, commitment looks different to me now. It looks like options, choices, tuning into my intuition, being willing to change things up, and being willing to let go of what no longer serves me. Setting up body-doubling sessions with people to get things done. Blocking out time and making sure I have spaciousness for me in my schedule helps me to have the capacity to commit to the things that are important to me.
Overall, I am learning to have curiosity and compassion for myself when I struggle with commitment.
I really appreciate your insights here, Angella! I too was late diagnosed with ADHD, and much of what you said resonates. I’ve realized over time that the one surefire way that I won’t follow through on a commitment is to think there’s only one way to be successful at doing it. Structure can be enormously helpful in setting myself up for success (and I’m wickedly good at seeing all the steps necessary to complete something, plus contingencies), but the second I panic about deviating from structure, the less likely I am to follow through on something. I’ve noticed that it’s helpful for my ADHD brain to take advantage of random bursts of hyper focus, even if they deviate from my plan, so that I spend as little time as possible ruminating and just do things!! Amazing how simple that is and how long it’s taken to come to grips with.
Angella I love what you said: To “…work with both my brain and my nervous system, commitment looks different …. It looks like options, choices, tuning into my intuition, being willing to change things up, and being willing to let go of what no longer serves me.” Yes!!! I’m happy to join this process, too:)
What a wonderful start! I love the energy commitment generates and I’m intentional about what I want to use that energy for. There have been things I committed to, that proved to be not worth my time and there have been others that absoluely got me to where I was heading. So, commitment is a power I love tapping into.
I also love the triple loop learning model. I feel like I’m learning the most by following a path of a commitments: Only after committing I can figure out what actually happens if I follow ‘A’ stepwise path. Along the way I assess and re-assess if I’m still on ‘MY’ path.
Doing this I learned about myself that I always need to be able to move in an adventurous way and adjust my direction as needed.
E.g: Over two decades ago I left the teaching profession and entered nursing because that energy of supporting others felt much better to me than the energy of educating them.
About 10 years ago I discovered coaching to be supportive in a much more beautiful, even magical way, a way I couldn’t imagine before. Trusting and finding clarity is actually what always allows me to move forwards, but in times of fear and doubt I’m neither clear nor able to trust.
Here I trust Sas’s work and I know if I follow her clearly layed out path I’ll get to my next goal. I notice in myself that working on self-doubt and supporting others to do so is the next thing I want to unravel.
Thanks for getting us going in such a smart and intentional way, Sas:)
The day three exercise is really powerful. I noticed that as I’m writing it all down it looses its power. My self-critical, self-blaming parts are only powerful in hiding. They live in the shadows. In the light of my everyday life they are hiding. They come out as things don’t go well, as I experience challenges, as I have mishaps.
Also as I’m writing down what they tend to say it does not feel really true anymore. There are other parts that say it’s not! That’s so interesting They even find proof for that. Then that shadowy parts shut up and go back into their hideouts but in their silence remains some power like: Wait until what we say is proven to be true!
What an interesting discovery:)
I had a similar experience @Anka. The other thing that I noticed is when I could identify ages, there was a sense of compassion that immediately showed up instead of me judging myself. There was a sense of validation and acknowledgment that feels really healing and I can now start getting curious about the patterns.
Day three was interesting for me. I have worked on self compassion a lot over the years and have even run a self compassion workshop, so feel that now I have a good enough relationship with compassion. However, when I was looking back at the self doubt messages and the ages that relate, I realise I have been giving myself, or hearing self doubt messages my whole life. The more I age the gentler I am with myself, which allows me to take more risks, show the vulnerable side and try not to get caught up in judgement but this is an ongoing work in progress.
Hi, I’m loving the ease into it this week! Day three was very interesting because on. surface level I think I’m pretty confident but there were so many icky beliefs my inner critic had to say!! I’m also setting the intention to step more into the unknown with this programme for the next six months and letting myself be open to it changing me.Really like stepping more into the energy of commitment and experimentation too. I realised I like the idea of experimentation but in reality I’m also hoping to find the one perfect solution or the one offer that works
These mini sessions and question prompts were so interesting. Looking back over my thoughts I can see a pattern where I can do these concepts for others or hold space for others to do. But for myself, not so much. This came across in Commitment – where if someone else expects me then I am all in and can do, but if its for me I am more likely to turn to procrastination/avoidance. Compassion I think I have an abundance for others, but for myself, I am not sure I even really ever tune into the inner voice, almost like I am actually just walking round with my fingers in my ears going “lalalalala”
The other concepts of Contributing, Experimenting and Expanding have me really thinking about how the last few years have been and moving out of employment and into coaching and how maybe I am still not 100% sure how that looks and fits on me and how I have been in probably the most insular time of my life and now I am starting to step out of that and be visible. Which of course feels daunting as hell.
This week of orientation has been interesting and eye opening. I can see how my comfort and growth in all of these areas has evolved and healed over the years but they are still laced with an overwhelming tendency toward comparison and a deep need for validation. I’ve known this for a long time but these exercises helped me to see how they cycle back in new variations each time I heal and explore past one layer. I’m comfortable with learning, experimenting, and expanding as long as they occur behind closed doors. Feeling vulnerable and on display while doing those things flares up the doubt and triggers my most unhelpful reactions, hiding and abandoning myself or my commitments.
The most illuminating piece was exploring the inner critic statement and putting ages to them. I can see how they still show up as new statements on the same theme. The questions in Expanding have held the same awareness for me for several years and I haven’t found a way through – yet.
I have the ability to push myself past the doubt to do something that I have a lot of excitement and energy around, but find myself going back into hiding afterward and waiting for the next round of excitement to energize my actions. I’m currently in hiding and am focused on learning, but this time I’m holding that with compassion for myself and fighting the routine of trying to prove the value of my learning with a goal or expectation on myself. (perhaps a fun new variation of hiding, but keeping a close eye and awareness)
I’m late to this and just going through orientation week videos now. I am shocking at commitment when it comes to learning. I am extremely impulsive, especially financially impulsive and have signed up for multiple things over the last few years. I have never completed any of them an I’m not 100% sure why. In fact, my AoEC coaching qualification was one of the few things I did actually complete and turn up for every month/session
I usually throw myself in wholeheartedly to start with and then some other work commitment or shiny thing will get in the way, I’ll fall behind and before I know it I have stopped tuning in completely.
I am coming to SBCA after having initially signed up for the 2022 cohort and then realising very quickly I had over committed and couldn’t focus on it, so I deferred for a year. Full disclosure, I cannot remember the reasons I signed up in the first place as it was 14 months ago. I love Sas’ work and am excited about working with her, but I am frightened as we start this that I won’t finish it, which isn’t the most positive of starts. I mean already I am a week behind as I was away last week and couldn’t watch any of the orientation videos. I am really keen to address my commitment issues when it comes to learning so would like this to be the programme that breaks my drop out cycle
Hello everyone, it’s great to be here and lovely to meet you all. The slow journaling prompts have been a great way into the course, and also thinking about self-doubt. My insights?
- Committment: I ALWAYS stick to commitments that I make to other people. My ability to commit is strongly governed by parental messages and values around hard work. My ability to commit is both a strength and a weakness. I never give up on work but this means that I quit on myself! It is much harder to stick to commitments I make to myself! Especially rest, excercise, healthy eating, creativity! It’d be good to experiment with giving up on things that don’t align with what I want.
- Belonging: I want to just show up and be seen. Perhaps be less afraid of fitting in or not fitting in, less afraid of and more accepting of difference. Definitely try and trust myself more, that I am ok just as I am.
- Compassion: Yes, of course! There are lots of parental messages that are still live and get in the way, trip me up! “You need to get this right!”. “You are the bright one, we have given you everything we did not have. You have no reason to fail. You need to succeed.” “You are intelligent and should therefore always know what to do, have all the answers.” Yikes! There is defintely some dialogue needed with these voices. So, I am going to try and tell myself: It’s ok not to know. Ok not to have all the answers. Ok to fail. OK to have an off day. And, very much OK to trust that others have the answers too!!!
- Contribution: Apropos of the last statements – I give myself permission to take part without having to get it right. I dont have to be top of the class. In fact, there is no top of the class!!! I want to fail like a champion!
- Experimenting: Yes, because if I cannot give myself permission to fail, how can I experiment? I think I have a tendany experiment – but only when there is certainty that I cannot fail! Which isn’t really expermentation is it? So all my risks are very calculated. I keep myself safe by over-planning – I love a spreadsheet! But that also hems me in so much. It means I find it hard to dream grow, expand, imagine what life could be like.
- Expansion: There is a clear narrative here isnt there?? Clever questions Sas! Yes! How can I expand if I cannot experiment? I am at a point in my life where I want to change, grow and evolve. Where I want to experiment and expand. Where I want to not care about what other people think. I am slowly relaxing into that, I think. But I am also aware of strong stories about it not being ok to be myself. I learned at a young age that being fully myself – experesive, emotional, creative – was dangerous and needed to be kept quiet, silenced, sidelined, not taken seriously. My big big learning in journaling about this one was around what I might loose if I stepped into the fullest expansion of myself. In trusting the fullest expression of myself, I would gain self-trust, self-worth, self-belief, but I risk loosing external approval, external validation. So obvious really! but also a big one. How do I move from seeing this to walking free???
Sorry – I hope that was not too much! So useful to get it down in writing. There is such a clear narrative here for me. I look forward to eplxoring more with all of you.
One question for the group – has anyone else had trouble accessing the course resources? I cannot access the coach profile, or downloads from module 1 – the workbook and archetype quix etc? It tells me “Whoops! You dont have access to this material” I just wonder if anyone else has had problems and how you resolved them? Jane
Hello Friends!
Great reflection prompts here. So much of being a good coach is being able to coach ourselves!
Something came up for me in the last prompt around I am expanding that I’ve known lately, but it was interesting to think of it in this context.
When I think of expanding today it is through the motivation of “proving to others” and this comes with a lot of anxiety, comparison, and ick! I had a long and steady career that many thought I’d stay till I die, and so my new career as a life coach has been hard for many to accept and support. The motivation I have sometimes is to meet and exceed my former career, and to prove to those who haven’t supported me wrong. And I don’t like this! I want to remove this perception for myself – I also know it’s not accurate – and make sure my motivation comes from the positive, growth-fueled side of thinking. Always a challenge when $$ and ego are involved 🙂
Looking forward to today’s 5 pm class! – Tina
I am a bit of a course Junkie. This is my 3rd course this year. I really do love to learn and share knowledge.
I think this is also partly born out of insecurity though, as i never think i know enough and struggle with the value i think i bring to the table…imposter syndrome i guess. Hence why i do so many courses.
My trouble is this. I usually stay the course, with the course i sign up to, but what i do with the knowledge i acquire is another thing, meaning i retain it for a while and then i lose it as i don’t use it!
Its a similar theme with health & fitness. I start the gym, start running, did martial arts (although i did do that for four years) and then i stop! Something else grabs my attention and i stop doing it.
Last year i found accountability helped. I signed up with my wife to do a half marathon for charity, then realized oh shoot! There is no backing out now. And as i am quite competitive, the thought of my wife completing it and not me was too much to bear.
When i think im missing out on something, i get that dopamine rush in the anticipation of some kind of reward. i don’t know for sure but i think my relationship with commitment is deeply influenced by my perfectionism traits to impress, to be part of the tribe so to speak which are born out of the relationship i have with some of my family.
This is interesting to me, so i will continue to explore
I loved this question because it helped me see what I would have said even a year ago in response to the topic of commitment vs now.
A year ago, I would have said that I often suck at following through. I’m either an all-or-nothing kind of person. Once I’m “IN” something, I’m all the way in and get “obsessed” about it. When I didn’t follow through on things I thought it was a lack of willpower and the words all of those high-ticket coaches I hired years ago would come flooding back in telling me that I need to work on my mindset and work harder if I wanted my business to really grow.
Now I see commitment through three lenses: my nervous system, parts work, and my brilliantly beautiful ADHD brain.
Now, I understand my nervous system and what it feels like and what it needs to feel safe with commitments. I now more easily let go of things that are what I call false priorities – the things that I’m “supposed to be committed to” but genuinely I don’t care about. Once I recognize what I deeply and truly care about, it’s much easier to be committed. Understanding the way trauma impacts commitment has been a healing path for me over the past couple of years.
When I’m struggling with commitment, I now understand that there is likely a part of me that doesn’t feel safe vs “I’m a failure and why can’t I do this????”
Lastly, being recently diagnosed as a neurodivergent person, the “lack of commitment” throughout my life makes so much more sense. My brain needs variety and options. My nervous system needs spaciousness and choice. Both of those things I rarely had in my life and these things rarely exist in a neurotypical, non-trauma-informed, capitalistic world.
Now that I understand this and how to work with both my brain and my nervous system, commitment looks different to me now. It looks like options, choices, tuning into my intuition, being willing to change things up, and being willing to let go of what no longer serves me. Setting up body-doubling sessions with people to get things done. Blocking out time and making sure I have spaciousness for me in my schedule helps me to have the capacity to commit to the things that are important to me.
Overall, I am learning to have curiosity and compassion for myself when I struggle with commitment.
I really appreciate your insights here, Angella! I too was late diagnosed with ADHD, and much of what you said resonates. I’ve realized over time that the one surefire way that I won’t follow through on a commitment is to think there’s only one way to be successful at doing it. Structure can be enormously helpful in setting myself up for success (and I’m wickedly good at seeing all the steps necessary to complete something, plus contingencies), but the second I panic about deviating from structure, the less likely I am to follow through on something. I’ve noticed that it’s helpful for my ADHD brain to take advantage of random bursts of hyper focus, even if they deviate from my plan, so that I spend as little time as possible ruminating and just do things!! Amazing how simple that is and how long it’s taken to come to grips with.
I can so relate with what you’re saying here, Adrien. Thank you for sharing this.
Angella I love what you said: To “…work with both my brain and my nervous system, commitment looks different …. It looks like options, choices, tuning into my intuition, being willing to change things up, and being willing to let go of what no longer serves me.” Yes!!! I’m happy to join this process, too:)
What a wonderful start! I love the energy commitment generates and I’m intentional about what I want to use that energy for. There have been things I committed to, that proved to be not worth my time and there have been others that absoluely got me to where I was heading. So, commitment is a power I love tapping into.
I also love the triple loop learning model. I feel like I’m learning the most by following a path of a commitments: Only after committing I can figure out what actually happens if I follow ‘A’ stepwise path. Along the way I assess and re-assess if I’m still on ‘MY’ path.
Doing this I learned about myself that I always need to be able to move in an adventurous way and adjust my direction as needed.
E.g: Over two decades ago I left the teaching profession and entered nursing because that energy of supporting others felt much better to me than the energy of educating them.
About 10 years ago I discovered coaching to be supportive in a much more beautiful, even magical way, a way I couldn’t imagine before. Trusting and finding clarity is actually what always allows me to move forwards, but in times of fear and doubt I’m neither clear nor able to trust.
Here I trust Sas’s work and I know if I follow her clearly layed out path I’ll get to my next goal. I notice in myself that working on self-doubt and supporting others to do so is the next thing I want to unravel.
Thanks for getting us going in such a smart and intentional way, Sas:)
The day three exercise is really powerful. I noticed that as I’m writing it all down it looses its power. My self-critical, self-blaming parts are only powerful in hiding. They live in the shadows. In the light of my everyday life they are hiding. They come out as things don’t go well, as I experience challenges, as I have mishaps.
Also as I’m writing down what they tend to say it does not feel really true anymore. There are other parts that say it’s not! That’s so interesting They even find proof for that. Then that shadowy parts shut up and go back into their hideouts but in their silence remains some power like: Wait until what we say is proven to be true!
What an interesting discovery:)
I had a similar experience @Anka. The other thing that I noticed is when I could identify ages, there was a sense of compassion that immediately showed up instead of me judging myself. There was a sense of validation and acknowledgment that feels really healing and I can now start getting curious about the patterns.
Yes. So helpful:)
Day three was interesting for me. I have worked on self compassion a lot over the years and have even run a self compassion workshop, so feel that now I have a good enough relationship with compassion. However, when I was looking back at the self doubt messages and the ages that relate, I realise I have been giving myself, or hearing self doubt messages my whole life. The more I age the gentler I am with myself, which allows me to take more risks, show the vulnerable side and try not to get caught up in judgement but this is an ongoing work in progress.
Hi, I’m loving the ease into it this week! Day three was very interesting because on. surface level I think I’m pretty confident but there were so many icky beliefs my inner critic had to say!! I’m also setting the intention to step more into the unknown with this programme for the next six months and letting myself be open to it changing me.Really like stepping more into the energy of commitment and experimentation too. I realised I like the idea of experimentation but in reality I’m also hoping to find the one perfect solution or the one offer that works
These mini sessions and question prompts were so interesting. Looking back over my thoughts I can see a pattern where I can do these concepts for others or hold space for others to do. But for myself, not so much. This came across in Commitment – where if someone else expects me then I am all in and can do, but if its for me I am more likely to turn to procrastination/avoidance. Compassion I think I have an abundance for others, but for myself, I am not sure I even really ever tune into the inner voice, almost like I am actually just walking round with my fingers in my ears going “lalalalala”
The other concepts of Contributing, Experimenting and Expanding have me really thinking about how the last few years have been and moving out of employment and into coaching and how maybe I am still not 100% sure how that looks and fits on me and how I have been in probably the most insular time of my life and now I am starting to step out of that and be visible. Which of course feels daunting as hell.
Thank you for sharing this Cassie. Just wanted to celebrate your willingness to be more visible, especially when it feels daunting. (I so get this!)
This week of orientation has been interesting and eye opening. I can see how my comfort and growth in all of these areas has evolved and healed over the years but they are still laced with an overwhelming tendency toward comparison and a deep need for validation. I’ve known this for a long time but these exercises helped me to see how they cycle back in new variations each time I heal and explore past one layer. I’m comfortable with learning, experimenting, and expanding as long as they occur behind closed doors. Feeling vulnerable and on display while doing those things flares up the doubt and triggers my most unhelpful reactions, hiding and abandoning myself or my commitments.
The most illuminating piece was exploring the inner critic statement and putting ages to them. I can see how they still show up as new statements on the same theme. The questions in Expanding have held the same awareness for me for several years and I haven’t found a way through – yet.
I have the ability to push myself past the doubt to do something that I have a lot of excitement and energy around, but find myself going back into hiding afterward and waiting for the next round of excitement to energize my actions. I’m currently in hiding and am focused on learning, but this time I’m holding that with compassion for myself and fighting the routine of trying to prove the value of my learning with a goal or expectation on myself. (perhaps a fun new variation of hiding, but keeping a close eye and awareness)
I’m late to this and just going through orientation week videos now. I am shocking at commitment when it comes to learning. I am extremely impulsive, especially financially impulsive and have signed up for multiple things over the last few years. I have never completed any of them an I’m not 100% sure why. In fact, my AoEC coaching qualification was one of the few things I did actually complete and turn up for every month/session
I usually throw myself in wholeheartedly to start with and then some other work commitment or shiny thing will get in the way, I’ll fall behind and before I know it I have stopped tuning in completely.
I am coming to SBCA after having initially signed up for the 2022 cohort and then realising very quickly I had over committed and couldn’t focus on it, so I deferred for a year. Full disclosure, I cannot remember the reasons I signed up in the first place as it was 14 months ago. I love Sas’ work and am excited about working with her, but I am frightened as we start this that I won’t finish it, which isn’t the most positive of starts. I mean already I am a week behind as I was away last week and couldn’t watch any of the orientation videos. I am really keen to address my commitment issues when it comes to learning so would like this to be the programme that breaks my drop out cycle
Hello everyone, it’s great to be here and lovely to meet you all. The slow journaling prompts have been a great way into the course, and also thinking about self-doubt. My insights?
Sorry – I hope that was not too much! So useful to get it down in writing. There is such a clear narrative here for me. I look forward to eplxoring more with all of you.
One question for the group – has anyone else had trouble accessing the course resources? I cannot access the coach profile, or downloads from module 1 – the workbook and archetype quix etc? It tells me “Whoops! You dont have access to this material” I just wonder if anyone else has had problems and how you resolved them? Jane
same, I have sent a message and guessing its a tech glitch that will be fixed soon.
Hello Friends!
Great reflection prompts here. So much of being a good coach is being able to coach ourselves!
Something came up for me in the last prompt around I am expanding that I’ve known lately, but it was interesting to think of it in this context.
When I think of expanding today it is through the motivation of “proving to others” and this comes with a lot of anxiety, comparison, and ick! I had a long and steady career that many thought I’d stay till I die, and so my new career as a life coach has been hard for many to accept and support. The motivation I have sometimes is to meet and exceed my former career, and to prove to those who haven’t supported me wrong. And I don’t like this! I want to remove this perception for myself – I also know it’s not accurate – and make sure my motivation comes from the positive, growth-fueled side of thinking. Always a challenge when $$ and ego are involved 🙂
Looking forward to today’s 5 pm class! – Tina
I am a bit of a course Junkie. This is my 3rd course this year. I really do love to learn and share knowledge.
I think this is also partly born out of insecurity though, as i never think i know enough and struggle with the value i think i bring to the table…imposter syndrome i guess. Hence why i do so many courses.
My trouble is this. I usually stay the course, with the course i sign up to, but what i do with the knowledge i acquire is another thing, meaning i retain it for a while and then i lose it as i don’t use it!
Its a similar theme with health & fitness. I start the gym, start running, did martial arts (although i did do that for four years) and then i stop! Something else grabs my attention and i stop doing it.
Last year i found accountability helped. I signed up with my wife to do a half marathon for charity, then realized oh shoot! There is no backing out now. And as i am quite competitive, the thought of my wife completing it and not me was too much to bear.
When i think im missing out on something, i get that dopamine rush in the anticipation of some kind of reward. i don’t know for sure but i think my relationship with commitment is deeply influenced by my perfectionism traits to impress, to be part of the tribe so to speak which are born out of the relationship i have with some of my family.
This is interesting to me, so i will continue to explore