Module 5
Growing Self-Belief
Self-Belief
Introduction
Self-belief is at the heart of everything we do (and don't) create. It is about your inner-leadership - your Sovereignty. It's the fire in your belly that offers you the vision for your life, offers you guideposts in the form of your values, and endless encouragement to create meaning, fulfilment and joy!
This module is about bringing Self-belief closer to you - to your lived experience - and growing it in ways that feel accessible and supportive to you.
Coaching Tools:
- Bucket of Joy (for when you have no idea what your vision is)
- Vision Board (to beginning playing with ideas for what you want)
- Your Values (grounding your vision into reality)
- Compassionate Intentions (living from your Values everyday!)
- Meet your Sovereign (visualisation)
I'd love you to treat this module as a kind of menu of options to choose from. All of these approaches are designed to support you in making Self-belief feel alive and natural for you.
If you love visualisations, don't miss the 'Meet your Sovereign' audio underneath the videos!
There is room in your Self-belief School Playbook to journal and reflect. Please do share your learnings, ponderings, and thoughts in the Discussion below.
Self-belief Schoolers
The discussion forum is where you can ask questions, share your thoughts, learnings, confusion and breakthroughs about this Module.
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Progress
Module Six
Hey Andy – yes check out the other group times and just let me know which one you choose – I’ll get you connected 🙂
Good morning SBSers!
This poem is really singing to me as I wend my way through SBS a second time.
https://allpoetry.com/Love-After-Love
And also the beautiful poem posted by Sas on Insta recently
“Late Fragment” by Raymond Carver
And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.
xxx
Mary
Hello! I have been writing down my ‘moments of pride and joy’ and I’m realising that they are all BIG moments. Things that I have worked really hard on and have been very difficult and challenging. E.g. I feel proud that I ran a half marathon. But I’m wondering if I’m doing this exercise ‘wrong’ because these moments are too ‘big’ – should I be also looking for ‘smaller’ moments? These bigger moments feel easier to access because I suppose they are ‘traditional’ moments that people feel proud of themselves for.. I would really like to dig into the smaller moments as I feel like they might be more telling of my values..? But unsure how to do this!
Thank you xxx
p.s. I know there is no ‘wrong’ way to do this (ha ha) but I hope you understand what I mean! : )
This is a great question Sheena! And of course, there is no right way to do it 🙂
This idea is to explore the moments that contain pride and joy for YOU. Sometimes this can be about running a half marathon, and sometimes it can be that day it was raining and you got up to train. So you get to decide what counts.
It can be more easy to remember the big moments – but the smaller more profound ones can be just as important.
Example: I think about the day I bought a new colourful duvet cover after my first marriage ended. It was just to my taste – it was beautiful to me. And I remember crying on the way home from John Lewis because I had done this brave thing and acknowledged for myself that he wasn’t coming back. That I was going to take care of me. That I had my own ideas separate from anyone else.
Does that help you Sheena?
Yes this is very helpful, thanks for sharing Sas. Your example is the type of moment that I’m trying to access but I just keep coming back to the big ones.. It’s almost like if it wasn’t ‘The Best Day Ever’ then I don’t think it’s worth it.. Probably more black and white thinking from me! I’ll keep trying : )
Andrea I love that you shared this!
I think VBs can emerge from our subconscious so they have a similar quality to dreams – often more metaphoric than literal 🙂
This image makes me feel calm and abundant…what about you?
I notice lots of open hands – I’m curious about what they mean to you?
You’ve inspired me to do one when I get to NZ 🙂
I’m sharing my reflections from completing this module.
Meet your sovereign was/is impactful. I’ve done this exercise several times. Each one feels connected to the last visualization. Seeing the sign later in the day that I wasn’t expecting yet, there it is, – almost made me jump the first time. (without giving away the video content for others). After that seeing the sign gave me this secret smile that I felt all the way inside me.
The Values session was insightful in looking at the upper end of the life map; seeing myself as that person altered the vision of myself as I work through this career and personal transition of whom I’m becoming. I created a long list of words: curious, courage, tenacious, resilience, adaptive, powerful, playful, strong, brave. I then wanted to go deeper and looked up the definition for each word to really hone in on the precision and what resonated for me. Courage is the word I chose.
The lion is the image and then I looked up what symbolizes the lion, associations of lions, mythological representations, Lion personality, Lion Spirit to get a full picture. And because I was curious and interested! Some of my words are synonyms. For example, courage is defined closely with brave, strong and powerful.
About 7 months ago, I painted a lion. At that time prior to painting it, I did a visualization related to my future self; my intuition told me that I am powerful and within the meditation was to see what symbol represented that. A lion appeared. The exercise concluded to draw that image, paint it, whatever and put it where you’ll always see it. I painted it over several hours and days; it’s hanging in my kitchen. Within the last week (while doing this exercise), I changed the eyes and added a tongue because that felt right. it feels complete; the emotion is not just feeling powerful, but having courage, like a softer part of power, while just as important.
In my Bucket of Joy, I learned that I need to put my bucket, (a blue pitcher) in a more prominent place because a few days went by when I forgot to add anything. Or I did it quite late at night when I was already in bed. One exciting insight I’m having is trying to pick just one joy for the day considering I’m on this “job search/career shift/becoming another version of myself” path.
The Five Days of Setting Intentions has been helpful as I was preparing for a last interview, a presentation of the company product. I had a week to prepare and then present to the hiring team (yesterday). This timely exercise shifted my mindset for a potentially charged event that impacts what future days may look like in the realm of career path. Each day I wrote, The way I intend to show up today is with curiosity, courage and excitement. And while courage was the main word, curiosity and excitement were words I needed to add some playfulness to an otherwise serious task.
The emotions I had for each day related to the intention were: interested, playful, excited anticipation without attachment to the outcome, curiosity, calm, happiness, motivation, confidence, trusting, free. These are not usually all the emotions I have experienced when a. preparing for an interview. b. preparing to do a presentation in front of a hiring team. It definitely changed my approach to the task as well as my mindset to every activity within my day. There was 1 day when the task felt challenging and then I reminded myself that if a friend expressed doubt about learning new concepts for a job, I would say, you’ll get it. You’re learning. It’s okay to not have all the answers. So then I could exercise compassion and that made preparing easier and lighter. I really like this exercise and plan to continue it in my daily journaling. It’s really shifted how I look at activities within my day. My default had always been around fear and worthiness, while curiosity, courage and excitement change the game.
Thanks, Sas!!
Its so good to read your notes Amanda!
I love the image of the lion offering you courage. And it sounds like playing with intentions is offering you a way to access your healthy adult self?
Its fascinating to me how powerful this can be – when we get really clear on what matters (our values) and what we want (our goals), using intentions can be so powerful for noticing and claiming the ways we are bringing self-belief to life. Bravo!
Sas, i just watched it again and picked up reminders of how to best pick an intention — while already believing it. Which when I write it out, I genuinely believe it while sometimes I feel a little off track as the day continues. Perhaps that’s why asking myself what I need from myself – hourly checking in with myself is so important?
One part of me worries how I will be productive if I am checking in with myself so much while knowing how productive (not so much) I feel when I’m agitated. And then there is some guilt wrapped into that sometimes, too, Which I don’t like while recognizing it’s an old pattern.
The intentions have become part of my daily practice since I took this module. I start with what do i need from myself today (your assignment to me from courage based goals) which tends to be a longer journal entry before the intention exercise. But then it helps shape the intentions.
Hi Sas. Yes, it definitely helps, while I feel I need to check in with myself and remind myself of my intentions for today … so the check-in with myself is definitely good even if it’s less often like maybe at lunchtime. Particularly best if I’m checking in with myself before my tank falls on empty. Thus, the need to check in with myself more often, after all, per your point!
Just watched the videos and I am SO EXCITED about this module! So much possibility for fun and play!x
I’m so happy to hear that Hannah! And yes – I think this week in particular will be a great support for your goal 🙂
Hi there Coaches. I am unable to make my regular Thursday coaching call this week. Is it ok to drop in on another group?
Hey Andy – yes check out the other group times and just let me know which one you choose – I’ll get you connected 🙂
Random question… How does the 30 day plan and 5 days of intention setting fit together? Do we do bothsies? Choose one over the other? Put Self-Belief on a back-burner for the next 30 days, just learn these tools and take note but prioritize the Action Plan?
Great Q. I would encourage you to not wait. So you could just look for opportunities to be more intentional over the next week.
Incorporate living more intentionally into your everyday. Your intentions might be related to your Goal and they might not.
Good morning SBSers!
This poem is really singing to me as I wend my way through SBS a second time.
https://allpoetry.com/Love-After-Love
And also the beautiful poem posted by Sas on Insta recently
“Late Fragment” by Raymond Carver
And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.
xxx
Mary
Hello! I have been writing down my ‘moments of pride and joy’ and I’m realising that they are all BIG moments. Things that I have worked really hard on and have been very difficult and challenging. E.g. I feel proud that I ran a half marathon. But I’m wondering if I’m doing this exercise ‘wrong’ because these moments are too ‘big’ – should I be also looking for ‘smaller’ moments? These bigger moments feel easier to access because I suppose they are ‘traditional’ moments that people feel proud of themselves for.. I would really like to dig into the smaller moments as I feel like they might be more telling of my values..? But unsure how to do this!
Thank you xxx
p.s. I know there is no ‘wrong’ way to do this (ha ha) but I hope you understand what I mean! : )
This is a great question Sheena! And of course, there is no right way to do it 🙂
This idea is to explore the moments that contain pride and joy for YOU. Sometimes this can be about running a half marathon, and sometimes it can be that day it was raining and you got up to train. So you get to decide what counts.
It can be more easy to remember the big moments – but the smaller more profound ones can be just as important.
Example: I think about the day I bought a new colourful duvet cover after my first marriage ended. It was just to my taste – it was beautiful to me. And I remember crying on the way home from John Lewis because I had done this brave thing and acknowledged for myself that he wasn’t coming back. That I was going to take care of me. That I had my own ideas separate from anyone else.
Does that help you Sheena?
Yes this is very helpful, thanks for sharing Sas. Your example is the type of moment that I’m trying to access but I just keep coming back to the big ones.. It’s almost like if it wasn’t ‘The Best Day Ever’ then I don’t think it’s worth it.. Probably more black and white thinking from me! I’ll keep trying : )
It can be quite fun to ponder on the moments that feel important to you. And if memories are tricky to conjure, be on the lookout in your every day life now. What feels good to you now? What do you want more of?
I actually found one just this morning! And quickly wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget : )
My Vision Board attached. Done in canva. I know what it means to me, but thought I’d share.
Andrea I love that you shared this!
I think VBs can emerge from our subconscious so they have a similar quality to dreams – often more metaphoric than literal 🙂
This image makes me feel calm and abundant…what about you?
I notice lots of open hands – I’m curious about what they mean to you?
You’ve inspired me to do one when I get to NZ 🙂
Hello – yes, calm-ness came through for me too. Think the hands represent openess, kindness, release and support. Life has definitely improved since doing this VB.
I’ve started my Bucket of Joy too… wonder what will come out of that? Exciting to explore. 🙂
Good Luck with the move. x
I’m sharing my reflections from completing this module.
Meet your sovereign was/is impactful. I’ve done this exercise several times. Each one feels connected to the last visualization. Seeing the sign later in the day that I wasn’t expecting yet, there it is, – almost made me jump the first time. (without giving away the video content for others). After that seeing the sign gave me this secret smile that I felt all the way inside me.
The Values session was insightful in looking at the upper end of the life map; seeing myself as that person altered the vision of myself as I work through this career and personal transition of whom I’m becoming. I created a long list of words: curious, courage, tenacious, resilience, adaptive, powerful, playful, strong, brave. I then wanted to go deeper and looked up the definition for each word to really hone in on the precision and what resonated for me. Courage is the word I chose.
The lion is the image and then I looked up what symbolizes the lion, associations of lions, mythological representations, Lion personality, Lion Spirit to get a full picture. And because I was curious and interested! Some of my words are synonyms. For example, courage is defined closely with brave, strong and powerful.
About 7 months ago, I painted a lion. At that time prior to painting it, I did a visualization related to my future self; my intuition told me that I am powerful and within the meditation was to see what symbol represented that. A lion appeared. The exercise concluded to draw that image, paint it, whatever and put it where you’ll always see it. I painted it over several hours and days; it’s hanging in my kitchen. Within the last week (while doing this exercise), I changed the eyes and added a tongue because that felt right. it feels complete; the emotion is not just feeling powerful, but having courage, like a softer part of power, while just as important.
In my Bucket of Joy, I learned that I need to put my bucket, (a blue pitcher) in a more prominent place because a few days went by when I forgot to add anything. Or I did it quite late at night when I was already in bed. One exciting insight I’m having is trying to pick just one joy for the day considering I’m on this “job search/career shift/becoming another version of myself” path.
The Five Days of Setting Intentions has been helpful as I was preparing for a last interview, a presentation of the company product. I had a week to prepare and then present to the hiring team (yesterday). This timely exercise shifted my mindset for a potentially charged event that impacts what future days may look like in the realm of career path. Each day I wrote, The way I intend to show up today is with curiosity, courage and excitement. And while courage was the main word, curiosity and excitement were words I needed to add some playfulness to an otherwise serious task.
The emotions I had for each day related to the intention were: interested, playful, excited anticipation without attachment to the outcome, curiosity, calm, happiness, motivation, confidence, trusting, free. These are not usually all the emotions I have experienced when a. preparing for an interview. b. preparing to do a presentation in front of a hiring team. It definitely changed my approach to the task as well as my mindset to every activity within my day. There was 1 day when the task felt challenging and then I reminded myself that if a friend expressed doubt about learning new concepts for a job, I would say, you’ll get it. You’re learning. It’s okay to not have all the answers. So then I could exercise compassion and that made preparing easier and lighter. I really like this exercise and plan to continue it in my daily journaling. It’s really shifted how I look at activities within my day. My default had always been around fear and worthiness, while curiosity, courage and excitement change the game.
Thanks, Sas!!
Its so good to read your notes Amanda!
I love the image of the lion offering you courage. And it sounds like playing with intentions is offering you a way to access your healthy adult self?
Its fascinating to me how powerful this can be – when we get really clear on what matters (our values) and what we want (our goals), using intentions can be so powerful for noticing and claiming the ways we are bringing self-belief to life. Bravo!
Sas, i just watched it again and picked up reminders of how to best pick an intention — while already believing it. Which when I write it out, I genuinely believe it while sometimes I feel a little off track as the day continues. Perhaps that’s why asking myself what I need from myself – hourly checking in with myself is so important?
One part of me worries how I will be productive if I am checking in with myself so much while knowing how productive (not so much) I feel when I’m agitated. And then there is some guilt wrapped into that sometimes, too, Which I don’t like while recognizing it’s an old pattern.
The intentions have become part of my daily practice since I took this module. I start with what do i need from myself today (your assignment to me from courage based goals) which tends to be a longer journal entry before the intention exercise. But then it helps shape the intentions.
I’m so glad you are finding the intentions helpful, Amanda. Are you finding this is shifting how you typically feel during the day?
Hi Sas. Yes, it definitely helps, while I feel I need to check in with myself and remind myself of my intentions for today … so the check-in with myself is definitely good even if it’s less often like maybe at lunchtime. Particularly best if I’m checking in with myself before my tank falls on empty. Thus, the need to check in with myself more often, after all, per your point!